


Stupid Berserk

by DrFunk98



Category: Berserk
Genre: Other, schnerg, why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7696945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrFunk98/pseuds/DrFunk98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Me and a Dinosaur(Joe Dandy) got this shit covered yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall. We wanted to make a stupid berserk since we finished the main story of stupid jojos, stupid full metal alchemist will be coming soon though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guts kills a man, then joins the outsiders

Stupid Berserk by DrFunk98 and dinosaur(jodandy). There was a tree........AND THEN THE DEAD!!!! *thunder strike* A couple days earlier a lady went to the tree to pop a squat, she does and comments "Heh heh thatll show em" and then she walks away, she did not realize she just gave birth. An asshole and a lady found a tree with dead, however there was not dead baby, The ladies name was shiz and she loved baby, The asshole named gambino sadly did not have much of an interest, he let her keep the babi tho, he really did love her, cherished her, he hoped that he and her could be together forever. Shiz was now dying from a bad case of the dead, guts was 3, " GUUUTS!!! HOLD MY DEATH RIDDEN HAND!!!!!", guts went to touch but was stopped by the doctor, "Dont do that......" the doctor said, "GUTS REMEMBER, KEEP YOUR HEAD ON THE GROUND, AND NOT UP YOUR BUTT!!" shiz yelmed , "Heh heh, ye!!" guts replied, then shiz died, "...Hey im ba..oh....*looks at guts*....i blame you for this." the fonzie sounding gambino said. 3 years passed and guts was now 6, guts was looking at the sky, " Hey guts catch." "Eh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" guts then got cut across the nose, "Oops." gambino said. 3 more years passed and guts was now 9 guts was now a merc and would get his share of the money, "Uh hey.....*points at random guy* you! Go give guts his money." gambino accidentally pointed to the pedophile, the next morning guts walked out with the pedos head in his hands, ".....Oh....that was a.....oh......yo....you alright?" gambino asked, guts just stood there wide eyed "The monsters dead...." , "...Well....he didnt have a good head on his....*guts stares at him*......the important part is you got him before he could do anything to ya." gambino said, (Authors note: This was not a rape joke, we were just trying to avoid this as much as possible.), guts and gambino were now in a battle gambino took an explosion to the knee and could no longer be a merc, gambino started thinking about how much guts had grown.....gambino got mad, and then attempted to kill guts at night, "I CALL THIS AN ABORTION!!!" gambino then got sliced in the neck accidently by guts, "......I'm sorry but this fetus is 144 months in.......oh shit wait i just killed my step dad.....oh...i should go." guts ran away then got shot with an arrow, AND THEN WAS ATTACKED BY THE WOLFS RAIN MANGA, but returned it to where he bought it then got picked up by these new guys we wont learn about ever.

4 years passed now so it was different. Guts was now 13, guts was eating the very building he was in, That one caterino knight from dark souls shows up, guts shot chunks at him and he died, "GIMMIE MONEY!!!" guts shouted, guts never taked out his big sword BERSERKER!!!! After getting paid he walked through the road until he was attacked by the hammie hawks, a famous band or mercs, " EYYYY CHEESE HEAD!!!" cucc said, guts killed this mans....mans. "Oh." cucc said, "THIS IS WHY YOU LEAVE THIS TYPE OF STUFF TO THE ONE WHO CAN DEVELOP AN ENTIRE HUMAN BEING IN HER!!!!" said the black goddess known as casca, "..........puperty." guts commented, casca smacked him with a rock, guts then killed her horse, casca punched guts "OW, WHY THE FUCK'D YOU DO THAT!?" guts asked annoyed, " YOU KILLED MY HORSE!!!", "YOU SMACKED MY FACE!!", " YOU KILLED MY HORSE!!!", "YOU SMACKED MY FACE!!", " YOU KILLED MY HORSE!!!", "YOU SMACKED MY FACE!!", " YOU KILLED MY HORSE!!!", "YOU SMACKED MY FACE!!", " YOU KILLED MY HORSE!!!", "YOU SMACKED MY FACE!!", a white haired man poked guts with a sword and he passed out, "NO HAMLET THATS JUST WHAT SHE WANTS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH" guts woke up screaming and then walked outside, "Want a pickle?" jedi asked, "Ill eat you." guts said, "I'm counting on it." guts walked to the white haired man and asked him, "Who are you, what do you want and gender?" guts asked, "Griffth, i want you, male." griffth replies, "I dont believe you oompa loompa." griffth broke guts arm and then fixed it later, "Your mine now.".Later that week they raid a castle and guts and griffth have a super manly heterosexual broke back mountain splash fight and decided to join the hammie hawks, and then thats when we skip 3 years into the future. To be continued.


	2. FURRIES DURING THE CRUSADES WERE BRUTAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah were going chronological with this, mainly manga based, but dont worry we'll get to where the manga starts
> 
> cascas best face ever:
> 
> http://67.media.tumblr.com/a3f906fcf8212e602587c7685234ac16/tumblr_inline_o76mw1o5A01so73x3_500.png

Stupid Berserk by DrFunk98 and dinosaur(jodandy). There was an army, there was another army now they kiss, GUTS RAN OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD SCREAMING, just swinging his sword around,......screaming......with an erection......swinging his erection around......screaming. Then the hammie hawks attacked and were victor........The king later congratulated the hammies hawks on there successful attack on....the guys."MAN CAPTAIN GUTS YOUR TECHNIQUE IS SUPERB!!!" man who sounded like goku said "Thanks i call *inhale* ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!", "Hey guts can i talked to you in private?" casca asked guts, guts thought this was the sex, "Sure if it means i can get rid of this....."virginity" thing." guts responded, casca groaned, the two walked off into the hallway of arguing, "*GASP*...THIS ISNT THE SEX HALLWAY!!!!" guts screamed, "Thats right!!! Guts you cant just do that in the battle field!!" casca yelled at guts, "But we always win when i do that..." *guts then grabbed a chunk of the building and was about to eat but then casca slapped it out of his hand.* "!!!!" guts gestured, "We win cause griffth and i are actually fighting out there you dipshit!!!" casca barked at him, "I was going to eat that for breakfast......" guts commented, "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND ON THE GROUND!!!!" casca screamed at him, "Your'e not my mom.....SHE CAUGHT THE DEAD!!!" and then guts stormed off with feet of feet, casca wanted to stop him but didnt bother, "Oh hey guts whats wrong?" griffth asked "Casca tried to be my mom, so i let her down low." guts replied, "............Wha~at?" griffth responded.

It was a day like any other day, except it was tuesday, so it was a different day, " GRIFFTH!!! SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!!!" a random soilder said, "....Wazit?" griffth asked, "OKAY SO LIKE GUTS AND HIS MEN WERE DOIN ALRIGHT, BUT THEN A DOOR ATE THEM!!!!" the soilder yelmed, "......But.....a door cant.....eat people." cucc said, "I heard the enemy troops have hired the immortal soilder, a man who looks like his skin is made of fabric, and kills people brutally with a technique he uses called...................... **YIFF**!!!" pick pork said,........."Well that doesnt sound......good......." griffth commented. "Imma go in there to save them." guts said, "No sir you cant, YOULL BE ATE!!!!" an who sounded like goku said, "I cant count, LEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JE......." gut yelled as he ran into the door, his voice fading as he got farther away. Guts walked down the hallway......."Huh....things seem alright so fa....oh theres a corpse....theres another....theres a..oh.....theres everyone....." guts said to himself. Guts then noticed a man with odd fabric like skin.....".........." guts just stared, "......OH!!!.....Hi..." zodd said, "........H...hi...." guts responded....."..Thats a big sword.....", "......Ye...yeah.....", "....Are you compensati...." ZODD WAS INTERRUPTED BY GUTS SLASHING HIS SWORD INTO ZODD. ".......Your'e supposed to ube up first before you stick it in!!!!!!" ZODD THEN UNZIPPED HIS FLESH TO REVEAL HIS DEMONIC FURRY FORM!!!! " IM A HUMAN COSPLAYER!!!!" zodd screamed, guts was on the verge of shitting himself, he had never in his life experienced something like this before, He mentally and emotionally could not handle what was before him, guts was afraid for the first time in years, but he mustered up all the courage and strength he could and spoke the first thing that came to mind, "............. **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!** "

"So this is the door that guts ran into??" griffth asked, "yep." man who sounded like goku responded, "......Okay then, lets get in there and help guts!" griffth ordered, zodd just stood there......confused....this man, the first man in two centuries to actually cut into him was now......screaming.....eh what ever zodd was gonna yiff him, BUT SUDDENLY GRIFFTH, CASCA AND THE HAMMIE HAWKS SHOWED UP AND also almost shit themselves. Pipin a man who said very little could only say one thing, "KILL IT WITH DEATH!!!!!" guts then snapped into consciousness and he and griffth both double penetrated zodd!!! BUT NO THATS JUST WHAT HE WANTS!!!!! Zodd then fisted (oops) griffth and guts, "Now for the yiff of a life ti...!!!!!" zodd then noticed a red nad with eyes,a nose, and a mouth. ZODD KNEW EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS AND YELMED "HOLY FUCK!!!! HES THE ONE WITH THE RED TESTICLE!!??? .......Heh heh HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKERS IS FUCKED!!!!!!" zodd screamed and then flew away with his skin suit. All were confused,a few days later griffth and guts were bandaged up after their fisting from zodd, "THIS YOUR FAULT INTESTINES!!!!" casca said and ran away, ".........huh..." guts said, "Oh dont mind her man, shes just like that......" griffth tried to reassure guts, the two noticed the king, the queen, daughter Charlotte and sir Julius, "Greeting general griffth, its great to see you are doing well, remember dont fuck my daughter, or ill kill you." the king said cheerfully and ran down the stares naked. Griffth looked at charlotte "Boog." griffth said, charlotte blushed, "HOW DARE YOU!!!!" julius screamed, then walked away because that wasnt his kid. "God i hate that griffth guy!!! He makes all the servants hot and bothered.....pisses me off, and most of all, HE STOLE MY DO!!!! I WAS ROCKIN THAT LOOK BACK IN COLLEGE!!!!" adonis said to himself, "You know....theres a way you can fix the whole situation with griffth...." egg head man said. "Oh?" julius said and stared, egg guy then walked backwards never saying anything else, julius just thought "Fuck it ill assassinate him..." and went to hire an assassin, The next day griffth teased at charlotte with a leaf,casca made the best face ever, but then got shot with a poison arrow, guts started screaming but then it was revealed the nad and taken the arrrow instead of griffth, later that night griffth gave guts a job, as he was suspicious he found out using his........he found out it was julias and now guts was going to kill him. Guts arrived to juliases room, "You must train to marry charlotte!!!" julias yelled at his son, "But arent we cousins???" adonis asked, "......Look....gotta keep the blood line.....bloody." they soon left for their chambers, guts just thought.....gross, he then snuck in and killed julias BUT ALAS A WITNESS, SO GUTS RAN AND KILLED HIM TO..HOLY FUCK THAT WAS A KID!!!!! OH MY GOD IT WAS ADONIS, OH FUCK, FUCK,FUCK,FUCK!!!!! Guts got shot and retreated to the sewers, he then got bandaged by casca and found griffth and charotte, "Yeah a friend to me is someone who doesnt do what i say." guts then got sad and then made an ambition he would soon plan to fullfill. To be continued.


	3. Cascas period

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is what i called the second movie, and this is what im calling the 3rd chapter.

Stupid Berserk by DrFunk98 and dinosaur(jodandy). Griffth stared at mini me, and then charolette gave him a knight charm, griffth swooned, casca got grumpy. HOLY SHIT BATTLE TIME!!!! Casca noticed a cramp, not now she thought, not in the midst of a fight, why, why now of al..." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" guts then ran out onto the field jerking as even the enemy watched intently. Casca sighed and noticed a man who sounded like doctor eggman/robotnik from sonic which didnt exist yet, "ARE YOU VAGINA PERSON!!???" adon asked, "....Ye...." casca was then interrupted by this asshole "WOMEN DONT BELONG ON THE BATTLE FIELD!!!!", "......Excuse me??" casca commented, "WOMAN DONT FIGHT BATTLE!!!" adon continued to proclaim, "guts threw a wall at adon injuring his face, "I MAY NOT LIKE CASCA BUT I DISLIKE SEXISTS MORE!!!!" guts roared and then ran over to casca, "Hey you alright? You dont deserve a prick like that saying such things to ya." casca responded with " No im fine, thank you tho...." casca was then receiving a hot flash and passed out, casca was about to fall over a cliff but guts grabbed her, "Oh thank god i got her in ti..." guts then got shot in the side with an arrow, "Oh....oh no no... nononononoNONONO, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...." gutas and casca then fell in the river down below.

Later that day gaston ran to griffth and said, " NO ONE CRIES LIKE GASTON, HOPE HE DIES LIKE GASTON, I ONLY COULD THINK OF SONG LIKE GASTON!!!" gaston then started vomit, cry and masturbate all at the same time, griffth and jedi just stared, "Do you think they are dead?" griffth asked jedi, "I dont know, im not a fucking jedi." jedi said. Guts dragged casca to a cave and stripped her so she couldn't get sick from the water, "AH!! BLOOD, WHERE DID SHE Get....hit......" guts looked down and noticed the blood coming from in between her legs, guts looked at his hand then back to her legs, now backed to his hands now back to her legs now back to his hands, " *Huff huff* AHHHHHHHHHH..". It was morning now, griffth was still worried, he missed his hoes, how could he do his gardening? But no he really missed his bitches, he loved dogs. But honestly griffth missed his fuck buddies....guts and casca.......they havent had sex.........casca woke up to find guts topless and making something, she noticed he put his shirt on her.....just his shirt. Guts noticed she was awake "Oh hey, heres a think i made from sheep wool, i call a blood sponge." casca kicked his shit and now it was exposition time. "When i was a child, my parents sold me to a pedo and i was saved by griffth." casca said, "You should grow your hair out one day.", "Eh, one time though, griffth had to go to this pedo bearded man for money, during a siege a little boy working for us died, he nelt down to his corpse and said "....who the fuck is this?", after that night i was walking around outside only to see griffth WITH BEARD MAN, THEY WERE DOING THE BUTT FUCK!!!", "NOO." guts commented, "Yeah, and that next morning i talked him about it, naked.", "Wait he was naked or you were?" guts asked, "He was, I asked him why and he said....."...I needed money....", in the end his dream was that important to him, i reached out to him but......he just smiled a hollow smile." the uncredited ichigo went, "Huh?", "Damn...." guts commented, "......I feel we've bonded a bit.", "Maybe." casca said. That night casca, now with armor and guts, now with sword, tip toed away in case of soilders, BUT THEN SOILDERS!!!! These soilders were adons aqua mans "HA HA I GOT VAGINA PERSON!!!!" "Stop that." guts threw casca and killed 100 guys, except for adon, guts and casca were later taken back to base, after guts was healed and casca wasn't having one of the days, IT WAS TIME FOR THE FIGHTLLE.

The hammie hawks and the.....big pointies, were facing one another, like zues and zues, like the Spartans and Persians, and...."AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" guts then ran at the enemy castle and hit it really hard, causing the wall to crumble, casca and her soilders ran up and she shouted, "LETS FUCK IT UP!" and they all ran in screaming, the poinker then showed up behind guts, about to strike him down, "CATCH!!!" zodd screamed and threw his sword, the sword accidentally hit poinker.... all of the big pointies, adon and pedo died and everyone celebrated, BALLS!! Guts was in a nice suit, jedi in his cloak, pick pork in his pork, pipin in his....pipin was naked and cucc was dressed as a very creepy...guy? Casca wore a dress that made her look like a church bell, all that muscle poping out, griffth was griffth, charolette looking like princess amedala, and in the movie farnese and her guys we'll meet eventually, griffth drank a drink, and then he died, the queen was happy and went to secret base. "It worked!!!" queen said, "No it didnt." griffth said, and then egg head man set the secret base on fire and got his daughter back, griffth paid some men and guts killed them, sometime later guts was talking to jedi and cucc, "Yeah so......im leaving the hammie hawks." guts said, "FUCK!!" cucc said, and then that morning guts was leaving, but then griffth and the characters who matter apparently, weree all there, "Im gonna cut you." griffth said, guts swung in sword and broke griffths, "No your not." and then guts walked away into the sunrise, griffth just sat there wide eyed............... To be continued.


	4. Wyald loses his dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im including Wyald, literately the one berserk characters almost never included in anything.

Stupid Berserk by DrFunk98 and dinosaur(jodandy). Guts was eating a tree by a fire, but then SOMETHING SPOOKY HAPPENED, GUTS TURNED AROUND AND SAW, a skeleton man emerge out of the darkness, "Soon....." he said and then went back into the darkness, guts felt the non existent hairs on his neck rise as he was almost poop pantsed, but then the skeleton man came back out, "Sorry im short on change, do you have like 5 cents?" he asked, "Huh? Oh yeah, here.", "Thanks man, sorry to bother you.", "No its fine i understand, been in the same situation myself a couple times, its cool.", "Thanks man, *cough cough* WHEN YOU ARE IN ANY TIMES OF DANGER!!!!! I SHALL BE THERE TO BAIL YOUR ASS OUT!!! THUS IS PACT MADE THREW CURRENCY!!!......Okay bye." and again the skeleton man wandered off yet again, for good this time, forever.....for now. ELSEWHERE, Charlotte was looking through the window as it rained, BUT THEN WAS SPOOKED WHEN LIGHTING FLASHED AND IT WAS GRIFFTH!!! "HOLY SHIT!!" Charlotte screamed, Charlotte let him in noticing he was drenched in rain, "Yo bae you alright?" Charlotte asked, "Bumble faggot." griffth said, charolettes dress exploded and she was butt naked, buck naked, butt necked, buck necked, buc nekd. Then griffth pounded into Charlotte as he thought about guts, screaming, "WHEN I WAS IN BAND CAMP I STUCK MY DICK IN A FLUTE, AND HER NAME WAS CHARLOETTE !!!!", a maid saw, masturbated and then snitched, after the fucking charlotte said "So...heh heh was it good for you too? ", griffth sat on the bed in the fetal position. The next morning griffth tried to sneak out but then was captured by other knights, "Heh heh, oh no.", back with guts , he talked to a black smith, now back to griffth, "YOU FUCK MY DAUGHTER!?" the king screamed, "Look i understand your mad but its not like you wanted to fuck her right?", "........", ".....Oh sweet lord", "MY WORST TORTURE MAN IS GONNA TORTURE YOU!!!!" the torture man showed up and then threw griffths red nad in the drains, griffth became sad, the hammie hawks were ambushed and casca ordered a retreat.

A year later, casca was like, "......Show mommy how the piggies eat *snort snort*..........i hate soup..." AND THEN BOOM AN ATTACK, "Uh hi my name is silat, im here to kill you.", silat was kicked by guts, "GET YOUR SWORD!!!" , "ILL GEY MY SWORD FOR GUTS!!!!". Then casca and guts fought silat and his weird lumberjack saw blade.....things AND THEN BAM silat left,he will become important later maybe yes, "CAPTAIN GUTS YOUR BACK!!!!" gaston said, "I sure am.....you.", the next day casca and guts were by a waterfall , "......So casca what did you want to talk about?.....Wait a second THIS ISNT THE FOREST OF ARGUING IS IT!!??? guts yelmed, casca then fought with guts and then cried because how much she missed him, and how she blamed him for griffth doing the do, guts then made casca poke him with her sword as he too was sad, casca screamed and forced the sword out of his stomach thing, "He loved you, not me, i cant be his sword anymore, he cant swing me around." guts paused and thought about griffth swinging casca around but then snapped back into moms spaghetti in an instant to see CASCA ABOUT TO FALL OVER THE CLIFF INTO A WATERFALL HOLY FUCK!!!!! "Here we go again." guts said and put on his Indiana jones hat and then grabbed casca and pulled her up, "If it helps, i named my left hand after you, SO I LOVE YOU!!!", casca paused, "......Hey guts.....this isnt the forest of arguing, its the forest of fucking~." , ".....OoooooohhhHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" , guts and casca did the fuck, stopped as guts had a breakdown about gambino but then casca helped by embracing him as the two have both lived similar lives AND THEY WENT BACK TO FUCKING, " Thy first deed of thanks is this condom fo..OH..OH GOD IM TOO LATE UHHHHH, CONTINUE!!!!" the skeleton man ran off, "Hey casca, after we rescue griffth, do you wanna leave with me?", "....maybe." *guts shoves cascas face in his man cleavage* "My what big boobies you have.", "The better to nurse you with, ......my love for you is like a truck BERSERKER, DO YOU WANT TO MAKING FUCK BERSERKER.","Did you just say making fuck?", " Don't you live your life too fast BERSERKER,Stick your finger in my ass BERSERKER,I know that may sound weird to some BERSERKER,But it's the only way I'll cum BERSERKER,I have a fate which I move toward BERSERKER,When I poke people with my big sword BERSERKER,I am strong and very tall BERSERKER.." ,"If you dont stop ill punch your balls BERSERKER!!" guts then stopped. The next night, guts, casca, pipin and jedi along with charolette and that same maid, ".....DARKNESS IMPRISONING ME, ALL THAT I SEE, ABSOLUTE HORROR RUT RUT RUT RURURURUT RURURURUT I DONT KNOW THE WORDS!!!", back with hammie hawks GHOST SHIT HAPPENED but skeleton man saved em, griffth was then found by the gang but were horrified when they say he was missing skin, his tendons cut, his tongue missing, and his.....oh no...., the door locked behind them, little torture man said "I got your tounge." AND THEN GUTS FUCKING STABBED HIM AND THEY RAN, THEY MET ASSASSINS IN THE SEWER BUT WHO FUCKING CARES THEY KILLED EM AND RAN, except charolette and the maid, they ended up going back to the castle, "SEND THE MONKEY MAN!!!!" the king shouted. The next day, the gang and the hammie hawks are walking in the woods then someone showed up, ".......Hey.....names Wyald......im gonna become a monkey demon now.", guts stared ".......Wha..", BOOM WYALD BECOMES A MONKEY DEMON, AND NOW HE HAS A DEMON DONGER AND HE LUNGES AT CASCA BUT THEN GUTS CUT IT OFF, "......Hey man thats rude." wyald then GETS IMPALED BY ZODD and he dies.To be continued.


	5. SHITS FUCKED!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is the thrilling conclusion to the golden age arc portion of stupid berserk, next chapter we start the black swordsman arc, THE GURGAN!!!!

Stupid Berserk by DrFunk98 and dinosaur(jodandy). Casca, guts and jedi all gathered the hammie hawks together, "Hey so is like griffth gonna be okay? He seemed kinda spooked about the whole banana man thing." cucc asked, "Um....so about the whole griffth thing.....yeah he.....griffth cant...lead the hammie hawks anymore." casca announced, "W...why??? I mean yeah hes missing skin, yeah his tendons were slashed, yeah his tongue was cut out, yeah his....oh no.", "Yeah but he cant heal from this, jedi snorted all the fairy dust.", "..........i can taste my own birth.". "And sadly.....we just dont know what to do right now...", cucc began to speak but was interrupted by casca saying, "We are not tying string to him, or shoving our hands up his ass like a puppet.", cucc then just looked to the ground, everyone either cried or held in there grief, 1 because they wanted to touch griffths ass, and 2 because now what were they gonna do?. Casca made soup and the griffth fell on her ,guts and the still high jedi sat on grass, ".....You doin alright man?" guts asked, "Tell me im a shoe.", "....But you are..", suddenly gaston and the hammie hawk raiders "CAN YOU BE THE LEADER!!??" gaston asks, "Im sorry, casca can just fit more eggs in her mouth." guts answered, gaston, cried , jerked off and sang out his mouth dick. "Hey casca hows....", guts noticed casca crying,"...Whats wrong?", "HES LIKE AN INFANT NOW, SO SMALL, SO WEAK,....I CANT HANDLE SEEING HIM LIKE THIS!!??" casca screamed, "What if we adopted him?" guts asked, "......Guts i cant go with you...", "Then ill sta...", "NO YOU HAVE DREAM, YOU SWING BIG SWORD,IT GO WHOOSH RICHARD EPCAR!!!". Griffth touched the horses ass and then the wagon began going the fast, "OH NO HE MUST HAVE HEARD US!!!" casca yell, guts ran after it, the wagon crashed and griffth woke up, ".......This soup?" griffth thought to himself, griffth looked around and saw casca with long hair, it looked alright, "Were you sleeping? Sorry i need to bring some air in here.", griffth noticed a boy playing with a dog. "Oh hey its our son guts.", griffth immediately woke up, no way in hell was he gonna imagine naming his kid after the guy he wants to fuck. Griffth tried to stab his neck but failed at dying BUT NOTICED THE RED NAD HE LOST A YEAR PRIOR, and as he lifted it he noticed behind him,....... an eclipse was beginning to form.

Griffth then saw guts running at him, "WAIT NO DONT I HAVE A DOCTORS NOTE!!!" griffth thought aside,guts poked him with his copy of berserk 2017, and schnerg. THE REST OF THE HAMMILSH HAWKENS ARRIVED AND THEN WHOOSH, MAGIC BUT DEATH EVIL. "THERE ARE FACE, AND MOUTH!!!" Cucc said in 47 different genitals, "EVERY ONE SHUT UP FUCK!!!!" Casca said. Guts picked up griffth with szechuan sauce dripping down his face, it was to promote the berserk movies and MCDONDLA. SUDDENLY A BIG BOOBIE BAT WING SNAKE HAIRED, PAJAMA WEARING, BASKET FACE, SLIPPER WEARING, CLYPE DREEP BACHLE, GETHER UPING BLATE MAW, BLATHERING, GOMERIL, JESSIE , OAF LOOKING, SCOONER , NYAFF , PLOOKIE , SHAN, MILK DRINKING, MIM MOOTHED, SNIVELING, WORM EYED, HOTTEN BLAUGH, VILE STOOCHIE , CALLY BREEK TATTIE!! Also a man with a big brain, the vagineer, and hehehe, also showed up also and stood atop the giant fist dildo. "He who possess the red nad, too shall sit atop this dildo and also be batman." Said brain man, " NO!!" guts roared out of his bleached asshole, ichigo then ran. They then picked up griffth and sat him atop the dildo, guts did the runs up the dildo, with his ass cheeks, firm....." Hey, wanna give your friends a cool tattoo?" said brain, "........" griffth said, BOOM TATTOOS HIT EVERYONE, GUTS, HIS NECK, CASCA, BOOB, JEDI, WIZARD. " WHat is it???" guts asked, it was a dickbutt. MONSTERS BEGAN EATING THE HAMMIE HAWKS WHILE DISCUSSING BOYS, AND WHO WOULD SHOW UP NEXT IN THE NEWEST BERSERK ADAPTATION, guts was killin with his man penis vagina kingdom hearts. While jedi and casca ran, also cucc died...or something, jedi was like "Casca lemme SMÆNCH." In which casca said in response, "Heh heh no" prompting jedi to force ghost, and casca was taken by..........THE MOONSTERS, *applause* yes, yes i am funny arent i? GUts fell, not as firm as once thought, and found that it was the beach episode, and everyone was dead. Guts was like" But no." and found gaston, "GASTON YOUR ALIVE, FUCK!!" gaston was held in guts's arms, "No one dies like gaston.." and then his head exploded. Guts thought big man i forgot the name of in this fic and thought, hey he might be alive. no. He tried spinning, that's a good trick, guts then saw before him, a naked casca, with some dang hongling boobelas, and then, at last. GRIFFTH, WAS da na na na na na na na, BATMAN, he flew down, next to casca, also guts got his arm bitten, what? Next to casca, and there, he showed her, berserk 2016, and 2017. GUTS TRIED FURY ROADELSY TO GET OUT OF THE BEASTS GRASPE, HE CHEPED OFF HIS LEFT ARM, LIKE A COYOTE, but it was too late, the damage had been done, casca went on haitus due to the white washing error for the first 9 episodes, guts screamed loud, very loud, like hilrary clinton looking at deviantart foot fetish pics loud. BUT THEN SKELETON MAN KNIGHT SHOWED UP WITH CHEAT CODES, and saved guts and casca, rickert, the only survivor, would help guts and casca heal, also a little girl was there,but guts ran, why? Because it's been months since i started this chapter , and it's my birthday so i want to get this finished, HE RUNS, HE RUNS, and then stops because he got tired, THEN GHOSTS, and then skull knight showed up again, and then guts finally knew what he had to do, he had the stop all the ghosts that were coming through, he gonna kill em all because he's the gurgan, he's gonna kill em all because *Whisper* he's the gurgan. So anyway the blacksmith guts was living with, who i didnt mention before, made guts a new arm, and guts stole the drogon slayer from blacksmith, and killed a dog man, and he was off, to kill things, fuck things, and not take care of his girlfriend, who just gave birth to guts's demonic hell spawn, but that's a story for another chapter, see you when i see you.....To be continued.


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